“What is your Wildest Dream for your relationship?” I ask couples, as they settle into the Couple’s Journey Intensive with me.
By “Wildest Dream” I do not mean “hope,” and I do not mean “a goal.” By “Wildest Dream” I mean the deepest aspiration of the soul.
The realm of aspiration addresses itself to exploring the questions:
- What was my soul born for?
- What was the soul of our relationship born for?
- What was the core intention for us when we stood under the Chuppah, at the Altar, or in front of the Justice of the Peace, and we said our vows to each other?
For this inquiry, the kind of listening that is needed is generative listening, coined by Otto Scharmer, and described in his book “Leading from the Future.” Generative listening is listening with our whole being. It is not only opening our hearts but also our guts. It is a widened and heightened state of attention, in which new realities enter the horizon, and come into being. We feel as if we are connected to, and operating from, a widening surrounding sphere. It is the zone of the “Encounter” of the souls.
Time seems to slow down and space seems to open, and the connection that is made is from the essence of one human being to the essence of another. And what reveals itself to us is the beauty and the radiance of the geography of each person’s soul.
You can take some time to practice generative listening:
- Sit across from your partner, and ask: “What is your “Wildest Dream” for our relationship?”
- Cross the Bridge to your partner’s world, and as your partner answers the question, take in every image and let it penetrate.
- With your whole heart repeat it back to your partner.
- Then switch, and have your partner ask you: “What is your “Wildest Dream” for our relationship?”
By practicing together, you put on the horizon a profoundly nourishing, life-giving, and inspiring new reality for your relationship, your dream relationship.