Hedy’s Blog
The Practice of Remembering the Miracle
When we created The Art of Elderhood course, my dear friend Paul Browde said something that has stayed with me deeply. He observed that in relationships, we often forget. We forget the miracle of the person sitting across from us. We forget their preciousness. We forget what their presence means...
The Story Stays the Same. We Don’t.
"If you've heard this story before, don't stop me because I would like to hear it again." I love that quote from Groucho Marx. People sometimes apologize for telling a story more than once. They assume that if a story has already been told, it has served its purpose. But I have found the opposite...
Thirty Husbands in One Marriage
People sometimes smile when they hear me say that I had thirty husbands. The truth is, I only had one husband. His name was Yumi. And over the course of our life together, I came to realize that I had loved many different versions of him. Every time Yumi grew, changed, opened, healed, discovered...
The Deep Human Decision: Seeing People, Not Problems
Recently, I was reflecting on a concept from Martin Buber that has become increasingly important to me throughout my life. There are two ways we can meet another person. We can meet them as an "it." Or we can meet them as a "thou." At first, this distinction sounds philosophical. But the greater...
The Inner Elevator: A Metaphor for Emotional Integration
Many years ago, I was working with a couple who could not seem to land with one another. The man lived primarily in his thoughts. The woman lived primarily in her feelings. They loved each other, but whenever they tried to connect, they seemed to miss each other. As I listened, a metaphor...
Fostering and Maintaining Friendships
Every true love story is a story of unexpected transformation. If we are the same person before and after we loved, that means we haven't loved enough. —Elif Shafak, The Forty Rules of Love Connection is our superpower. Through connection we have the power to transform ourselves. Connection is our...